Swiper_the_fox-16oo0ihOk, so now is probably as good a time as any to talk about how one goes about selecting dating prospects on the internet.

Call me shallow but the first thing I do is look at the face and say, “Can I look at that face?” Now the guys are lucky here because most faces I can easily deal with. I like all colors, hair or no hair, double chin? no prob as long as you are funny…..what I can’t look at is unpleasant expressions, photos where I can’t see the face because it’s covered by an extreme sport helmet,  anything kinky, and a photo where the girl is cut out or everything is blurry.

Next I check to see if the person is near me…unless they are unusually hot and worth a one time drive out into the desert 😉

Then I go to their written words. I have to admit I have skipped this step but it is perilous to do so because most of the guys I REALLY find hawt are bi and in open relationships. So you gotta read….and decide if you can do polyamorous, naked skydiving…that kind of thing.

Next, if all their pics are extreme sports I consider this a form of narcissism and won’t go near it. Nice for you, but I fit exactly nowhere in this parade of man-flexing.

I glance at age, but it doesn’t matter. My age range is 33-72 but if I met a hot eighty year old I’d be so there and if someone 21 knew how to put together a good sentence I’d be there too. At my age, age just doesn’t matter.

Now I want to caution you about drunk swiping. Of course I never get drunk, only tipsy, but this advice holds. If you do that, you will wake up to some very interesting matches the next day. I matched with menwhich, so I know that of which I speak. Some things sound better tipsy than straight so if you are going to swipe when you are liquored up, you better drink before your first date with the person, too,  or you might blush fifty shades of “oh shit what was I thinking?”

One thing I have learned about swiping…NEVER try to factor in whether or not the person will be into you. That’s their problem. I have had some young hotties fall all over me and I’m frankly incredulous. Similarly some men who are JUST PERFECT FOR ME are not the slightest bit interested. Men (and people) like what they like…..there is no ‘splaining it so don’t even try. Just go for what you like and you will see for yourself. It’s a frickin’ conundrum, but one that often works in your favor.

If you have any other swiping or profie trolling tips, please share below. This is Datergurl, taking a day off….