So we can land a man on the moon but we can’t get a few dating items figured out? I’m gonna narrow my focus,  and talk about texting (and calling, emailing, snap-chatting, and smoke-signallin’].

This is long overdue people, and you’re welcome.

  1. She gives you her number – Here’s the cold hard truth guys (and bold chicks) If you wait more than 17 hours before you text, you are missing a very important window. Pretend you are on a game show and hit that button as fast as possible, if you ever want to hit him or her or they or zee IRL.  Just sayin.
  2.  Planning the first date. It’s up to you whether you talk first or not, but if you wanna meet, make it clear you wanna meet and give your intended a few options – make it real right up front.

3.) The date went well, now what? Well say something. No text can come too soon here. If you shoot one off in the car, more power to you. It will be well-received, trust me on this one.

4) You can now wait a day or two but by day three, you gotta close in on a second date. Dems da rules.

5) By now you are probably doin’ it.

6) Send a hot text the next day. Wait two days and repeat.

7) Let it all breathe a bit.

8) Go to the movies and share a popcorn.

9) Both of you admit you have no idea what you want or are even doing. Do it again.

10) Sulk a bit because you haven’t heard from your petit crush in days. Or, start over-texting; that’s what I always do.

And here’s where it all breaks down, folks. What ARE you doing and what DO you want?

Nevermind that…..why doesn’t he ever text me until after I’ve given up all hope.??? Then poop on him, but he’s sooo cute…gah!!!!! Sigh. Gah.

We need to agree on a bat-time and bat-place if we are going to open our hearts on any regular basis. Amirite?  We need to know where to stand and whether the event is formal or casual. Heavy hors d’ouevres or a bonafide  entree? These things matter.

We all need information, people. And if you can’t give the person you are gazing at longingly over the internet THAT,  then maybe it’s a last minute swipe left.

But if you say what you mean, and mean what you say, we’re all aboard.

Just let us know when your ship is gonna sail cuz waiting at the dock rusts our fragile gears and send a cold chill down our spine.

The boletterttom line is if you are thinking about your person say so, or they will never know the depths of your heart’s desire.