I usually write in threes, and usually when something is UP.
Right before I established, through my Google search engine, that on-line dating was making me crazy I did what people who feel crazy, down on themselves and sad do – I made an appointment with my old therapist.
I do really well in therapy. I walk in and cry hysterically for an hour and get my money’s worth. Only, by my appointment on Friday, I had deleted my dating apps and I felt fine. No tears. No fugs to give.
I went to the appointment anyway incase I wasn’t really fine and told Cynthia why I had made the appointment. She told me that right before she met her current life partner, she had felt the same way and gave up on routine dating. She told the universe that she would only go out with her next life partner. No more messing around, universe.
Of course, as things happen, at least in the stories we are willing to tell ourselves, the week after she set the universe straight her now husband, who had previously been a friend, moved in and snatched her up and they have been living intentionally and happy-ever-after since. If Cynthia weren’t so genuine and sweet you’d want to slap her. Especially when you hear what happened next.
She told me to watch The Secret.
Quit making gagging noises; that’s what she told me to do. Now I am going to clearly say that in my world, people don’t give themselves cancer by having a sour attitude, and starving kids aren’t starving because they forgot to put food on their vision board. However, even looney-tune theories can have some merit and truth, and I paid for my therapy session and since I wasn’t crying hysterically, maybe doing my homework and watching that show needed to happen.
I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t hard to sit through. It had a DaVinci-code vibe, a lot of spooky conspiracy theory music, and put forth the idea that the Secret was in the possession of and use by some of the worlds biggest movers and shakers. By watching the Secret video or reading the Secret book, you could join this elite fraternity and make a kazillion dollars and have all the genie wishes you desired. Shhh. It’s a secret!
But here is the thing. There were maybe five minutes of good spirituality that made it worth watching. It pumped me up. Because, we all know that positive thinking can have very good results. It’s not because the universe vibrates to your every whim; it’s more like when you are happy and noticing good things, more good things magically show up…really just because you are smiling and paying attention.
I had to admit feeling a bit energized with the Secret in my pocket. I wasn’t sure if I wanted ice cream or a trip to Fiji but I did feel strangely empowered.
I have as you know a love/hate with doing things alone. I am cool with adventuring out solo but I have done it too much and sometimes it backfires and I can’t enjoy being at a festival or in a tent by the beach by myself, always. Sometimes I just need an other. Next to me.
I went to a concert (the Specials) last week. According to the IRL dating experts, Cynthia and the Secret, going to a concert alone doesn’t mean you are alone. LOOK at all the people. I sat down and knew immediately I wasn’t going to be alone for long (the Secret). A nice gentleman my age sat down next to me and we talked and danced when the music started. I sort of made a quick exit before the show ended because he got a little handsy. I had asked the universe for company but forgot to be more precise, so the joke was on me.
Basically what I am going to say about online dating is stop it if you want to meet people, go do stuff, watch the Secret and get yourself all primed to vibrate. Fly your freak flag and just love everybody. And when Cynthia tells you to do something, just give it a try.
She and her husband are very happy.