Actually I’m not going to write about my jowls today. The jowls pretty much follow the same trajectory as the bags. And the truth is, I was so embarrassed to have been so shallow in my last post to have referenced plastic surgery (I still might have it though) when people are starving around the world (ok, yeah), that I couldn’t even bring myself to Facebook my post.
My friends like it when I go all strong-woman. Whining about bags and jowls would no doubt have started a fifty comment intervention littered with “you’re beautiful”, and the more concerned “we all get older, maybe embrace it?”
My friends like it when I embrace myself as is. “You go!”. And the few friends who would say “You Go!” to an eye job don’t use facebook. Interesting, I wonder if there is a connection.
Instead I’m going to write about this show that I shouldn’t even know exists, but somehow I’ve become late-night obsessed with. It’s called “Say Yes to the Dress.” It is the bomb and I can’t stop You Tube watching it.
I fast forward all over the place but my favorite part is that even though the entourage is usually hella snarky about the first dress, generally speaking, they have a point. The bride cries, but pulls it together and usually tries on 1-3 other dresses and then BAM – she steps into “The Dress” and everyone just “KNOWS” and starts using words like “princess” and “fairytale” and “silhouette” and “Budget”. Then they slap her in a veil, more tears, and she says yes to the dress. It’s an amazing show.
Course sometimes it doesn’t go as well as all that. By the way, Did you know that Elle King who sang that Exes and Ohs song is Rob Schneider’s daughter? Me neither, I learned that on “Say Yes to the Dress”. She said yes to her fiancé after only knowing him for two weeks. So you’d think dress shopping would be a snap.
Turns out, it was pretty easy for the beautiful and voluptuous Elle. But I also learned that her fiancé was arrested for domestic abuse and that they called the wedding off, then got married secretly ditching the dress she had said yes to, and then divorced. They might remarry and she might appear on the show again. I learned all this in a short video exposay (sorry I couldn’t pull up the proper accent so I had to go all phonetic) called “Say Yes to the Dress: Behind the Scenes”.
The behind exposé (where did that accent come from and how to find it again?) basically can be summed up with this – it’s even bitchier than the finished product and they pretend to care about the bride but the whole show is really about savaging her until she breaks on camera and cries.
But that isn’t really why I like the show. I’ve even been known to hit mute while I watch when I really don’t want to hear what the Long Island Barbie thinks about tulle.
I just like wedding dresses. I view them as a woman dressing up for what may very well be the last time she ever feels beautiful in front of her husband. Whoops, I can’t believe I just wrote that. Sad. Note to self: THAT needs unpacking, stat.
I’m not here to wedding bash. Or to dis marriage. I know three or four people with great marriages, so it’s possible.
It’s just some show that I’m obsessed with.
Um, no reason.
Saying yes to my leggings and soft sweater with bags that are only about a 2 today (whoopee)…..