So I’m in this phase of actively not dating and it came about because I was in a relationship that I found I couldn’t tend properly – not with where this guy was in his life – and I simultaneously realized that being open to casually dating was like a fork in the eye…
Based on everything I’ve read from others who’ve written about dating, just saying no to dating is a valid response to the old fork in the eyeball.
Still, every now and then something sweet happens and it makes you go “aw” and then….
And then what? Well I’m getting to that yiayia gammy grandma age where it’s possible to derive joy from the younguns goings on without jumping into their escapades. Really…it’s possible to smile and move on.
Yesterday at work I asked this big gorgeous 17yr old boy what he’d been up to. I’m pretty tight with most of my young adult patients and we chit chat about everything and being close is important so that when I look at them and say “Don’t you dare drink straight from a handle, ever, under any circumstances- they mostly believe me. Throwing in “or I’ll hunt you down and shave your head and give you a face tattoo” doesn’t hurt. Especially when they half-way believe me. Keep ’em alive til 8:05 is and always will be my motto. And chit chat and bonding are part of holding teens together.
So, then he said, “Oh, I’m doing pretty well. I met a girl.”
I thought there was a little lightness in his step! Aha! Nevermind that given my feelings about dating at the moment, this was sort of like drinking from a handle.
I was happy for him for ten seconds before my hardened heart remembered everything a teenage girl can do to a young boys heart. I have two sons and believe you me if you don’t think guys swoon and angst and get their hearts broken than you can try being me with each of my son’s for a year or more brooding and suffering at the hands of some girl. Not just some girl – the only girl in the world according to them. Both boys healed eventually, but I’m not sure that their hearts, or open approach to women will ever be quite the same.
So I was thinking a zillion things but just said, “what’s she like?”
And HE said, I kid you not: “She is kind and sensitive.”
I dropped my pen an literally said to him, “Are you shittin me?” Ok I didn’t because I am a professional and I only swear with teens if they are dropping F bombs all over the place and I’m trying to relate. But I definitely gave him an “are you shitting me? look.
What I said was, “that is about the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” And HE said, “well, that’s what I like.”
Pass the tissues.
My little grinch heart swelled to ten times its size.
Thank you 17yr old fresh and wonderful boy.
They are out there!
Then I tampered down my overflowing heart and moved on.