This isnt going to be much of a post but I had to share…I got to work and weighed myself….162.5 which is exactly 0.5 pounds lower than when I quit the daily drinking and started the South Beach Meal Delivery, and 2.5 pounds more than I weighed last Thursday morning.

I’ve been doing this diet thing with very little cheating. I’ve had three beers and two glasses of wine over the past two weeks. That’s it.

I’ve been hungry, a lot. I’m eating more often than I used to but I get way hungrier way more often. The food boluses are small.

I have gritted my teeth and just gone with it.

I am committed.

And as far as I know I don’t have a thyroid issue, mmkay???

So what the bleedin hell?

I think I’m going to have to start running or something  – only if you read my next post which you can’t because I haven’t finished it yet, you’ll see that I feel old and everything hurts. So run? Uh, ha to the yeah.

I probably just have to understand that changes are going to be suuuuper sloooow.

This woman I know went on the craziest cleanse you ever heard of and three weeks later she just sort of shrugged and went, hmmm. She lost .25 pounds, which is fine because she didn’t need to lose any weight but she only ate vegetables and nuts. She sounded pissed in her end-of-challenge post. No enhanced spirituality, no body transformation – just the satisfaction of doing something hard. Worth it, not worth it and more importantly……why? Why do it?

I’m not pissed off, just kind of stunned.

No wait, I am actually pissed off. I’m the kind of pissed off that can be motivating. There has GOT to be an answer besides not eating. And by not eating I mean you do eventually eat but you either nibble like a bird or you eat one meal and not a bite more.  I know for a fact that barely eating, or doing Optifast meal replacement shakes (500 cals/day) works. I’m not going to Optifast but I might consider barely eating if I can’t conquer this eating meals thing.

I want to say that most people cut out some pretty bad transgressions and they slim down. Soda, pizzas, fast food, late night eating, sugar, eating out excessively – that sort of thing. Then there’s women over fifty.

What you are witnessing is a woman over fifty trying to find her waistline again. I’m amused. I am some emotion involving being pissed and amused – pamused. I can’t take this too seriously when there are actual problems in the world that need solving, so don’t go offering me any sympathy or anything.

Just follow along, laugh at me, and wish me luck. Because even if I have to tape my mouth shut or hire a sitter, I’m getting these thirty pounds off.

In 2019.

Preferably, before summer.

No matter what happens, I’m gonna wear tank tops and skimpy clothes because life is too short to cover up. But my joints would really appreciate a lighter load and my double chin needs to go, already.

The purpose of this blog, besides poking fun of myself and by extension all of humanity, is to learn something, so here is what I think I have learned. Don’t step on the scale. Just don’t.

I’ve probably also learned not to diet, again, but I am not ready to give up on the concept of changing a few habits yet, so…

Onward, ho.omg