This isn’t a real post. It’s more of an amuse bouche or a palate cleanser.
There are a couple of things I don’t want to leave on the table though.
So, first thing is something I just find hilarious. Hilariously sad that is.
After my 48 hour OkCupid appearance I STILL wanted to peruse the singles, but I knew I didn’t really want to date so I made a rush POF profile in which I said absolutely nothing. The headline was “just looking” and literally, there was no information. I might have even added “a few extra pounds” which is the internet dating kiss-of-death because you either gotta be slim or seriously phat. Sorry but that’s what the mens like.
Anyway, I just did some late night trolling and forgot all about it until today the I had ten messages. Ten! They all were some version of “I read your profile and would like to know more.” I even got one “Your profile was amazing.”
Oh my gosh how sad.
Like actually, I just felt so sad.
This is apparently what we’ve come to as a society. Cue the Wall-E music. Bring back prostitution. I don’t even know what to say anymore.
Ok. Whatever. Not my problem.
But here is what I did yesterday.
I went to my banjo lesson …wait let me back up.. after a great run, Tim and I had a little spat a few weeks back. This is how it ended with my first violin teacher too. We just got all bitchy with each other. Well, mostly me. I got bitchy, whoops. But in a ll fairness they got all not compelling .
So, I have sometimes decided to sing instead of play banjo, especially when I am super tired. And Tim always had let me do it. We sang together. I even made a CD. It was a blast. For me , anyway.
We were working out the harmony to some song and at the end of the lesson he forgot to hit record and I said, let’s do it quickly again and he said no because he needed his ten minute break between lessons.
And I kinda lost my shit.
My whole life is rushing and accommodating people and scuse his burnout but I just wanted to record the effin song. Plus I am super respectful as a student. I pay when I have to miss. That sort of thing. So my request to take an additional two minutes was an anomaly.
I have a recording of my flip out which I would like to try and post. It’s funny/not funny.
I was pissed off also because he won’t take venmo and instead we have to stop two minutes early so he can wrangle his square, Eff that!
Anyway next lesson I showed up tail between my legs saying that I had tried to do too much, and I’d find a voice teacher and just do banjo with him. But I was still pissy inside.
He showed up with a workbook and said that we should just work through the songs.
That, right there, was the death of banjo for me. If this were a relationship this would be where it all fell apart. But just as in relationships, it took a few weeks for it to actually die.
The next week we did a song from the book and I pretended to be fulfilled in ways that I just wasn’t.
And Friday, he suggested that I play the song from the week prior and I started to play and he started to play but he was super loud and it just rubbed me the wrong way because I couldn’t even hear myself and and we already know that HE can play.
When this happened I just realized that I didn’t like my lessons anymore.
So, in really upsetting but true Maria style, after several years, I just said, “I think I’m done.”
And that, was it.
Here’s what’s funny and so like dating men. I texted and left the tiniest of openings for us to try again. I said that I didn’t think this worked the way it was, but that I had enjoyed our more open lessons very much. And he said he’d take me off his schedule.
That sums up a lot of why I’m not dating, or not even taking banjo anymore.
But there’s this awesome online banjo course at Peghead Nation taught by a woman named Edie.
So it’s like, fine.