I’ve got to write something more upbeat.
I just realized that I’ve hit winter bottom. I’m cold and my energy is so-so bordering on sucky. Well good news…
I just remembered summer. Summer is going to come!
Rain is cool. Fires are nice. And the darkness is cozy, up to a point. But when it starts to warm up, I bust a move without even trying.
I’ve been trying for a while now, and I’m sort of vaguely grumpy and out of sorts from all the having to work so hard.
I think that’s why I reacted so profoundly to smooching in a bar with someone I thought was just fabulous. It was like going to Jamaica for a few hours. Not that I’ve ever been to Jamaica. But it had an island vibe. A feeling of escape.
And I wanted to do it again immediately.
So I was kind of grizzly that my magic vacation didn’t extend into more than a few hours. I wanted Calgon to take me away…….stat.
But I’m going to Maui in a couple of weeks. I pray it warms up over there but even if it doesn’t, Hawaii is always a place where my body and soul are soothed and my swirling brain can park itself and just chill.
So there’s that to look forward to.
Festivals and tank tops and boozy afternoons. I just love summer.
By August I’m usually in full bloom. Tan, relaxed, moving my body to the max.
Every year February is the hardest month. I go into winter enjoying the crisp air and chance to hibernate a bit. I slow way down, and it feels right, for awhile.
But by February, the flu is here, it’s actually cold outside and every bit of summer has drained from my body. I need me some sun.
But I’m going to say, I’ve done a decent job pulling myself through this winter. I started ballet, I’m learning some Spanish. Banjo tanked but violin is up. I’m not just moping around, even though I’m feeling mopey.
When it warms up I want to garden. I could garden all summer and just move rocks around and shit. That’s my happy place, and it’s something I’ve ignored for a long time.
I can grill pizza and drink beer in the summer….on a school nite, even!
So, tonight I’m remembering that winter eventually closes in, and it has, but it won’t be like this much longer.
Tomorrow I’ll go in the hot tub when I wake up like George Clooney (I read he does that in the morning when he wakes up and sometimes I steal his move). I probably won’t do much or get much done because it’s winter and I’m only half with it and alive.
But it won’t always be this way.
And remembering that makes me feel a whole lot better.
(Not)Datergurl but still Dr. Maria, for whatever that’s worth, saying woohoo to balmy nights and three little birds. All in good time.