You probably want to know how all those hiking dates went.

If anything memorable had occurred I’d have said something.

I had a good attitude and was friendly and open and easy to talk to. I would say the men were equally forthcoming. Nothing was bad.

But it was kind of like standing in line at the grocery store talking to the person next to you about the deal on lemons. No matter how pleasant, you aren’t gonna be best friends with that person any time soon. In fact, you will probably never see that person or think about them ever again.

Now, according to the dating experts, you are supposed to talk up lemons a LOT until one day you find yourself staring right into the eyes of your future love and soulmate.

Got it.

All I really want is someone who at the end of the day, talks to me about how they stubbed their toe. I just want to cook dinner and dance in the kitchen every now and then. And one day, I’d like to be sitting in a rocking chair or hiking up a mountain with my best friend.

Dating is not what I want, but presumably it’s a path to the kitchen and toe-stubbing stories. So I keep at it sometimes, and sometimes I have to take a break because I’ve said everything I can say about lemons for time being.

I did get to share a moment with a friend that I either knew in a past life or I’m gonna get with in a future one. That’s a new agey way of saying that we click and he feels like home. Only it’s not in the cards so I had to pick myself up, give myself a good slap and bury it all deep. Still, it’s good to be reminded of what it feels like to look into the eyes of love. It’s good to know I’m not one bit dead inside. And a friend is a friend.

Last night I went with my oldest son who’s in town to Yoshi’s to see The Ohio Players. It was magnificent. There is nothing like seeing a band you loved in high school with Oakland’s black royalty to witness. The women were decked out and the men in suits were just too fabulous. Here’s proof.


Black dancing is my favorite thing. White dancing can be a little robotic and stilted but black dancing is smoooooth and grooovy and funkalicious.


I apologize for not calling out Indian dancing, Korean dancing and all the other kinds of dancing. They’re probably good too but last night I was swaying on the soul train so I’m just gonna talk about that. We can Hula another time.

When guys in gold sparkly suits line up with their horns and bass guitars and dance in sync it’s a thrill like nothing else.

Speaking of the bass…look who I said hi to at the meet n’ greet..

When the tempo changed I turned to my son and said, “Now they’re gonna slow it down a little.” Two seconds later the drummer said into his mike – “Now we’re gonna slow it down a little.” We laughed, cuz Mama know.

We drank espresso martinis and had a ball.

So it’s not like I’m not out having a great life.

I’m not interested in scheduling another round of hiking dates right now. I’m not even interested in meeting anyone. My heart is full with my kids in town, fun things to do and the memory of a small moment with someone who feels like home even if he isn’t.

There are many ways to move to the music and dance in the kitchen and I need to do that for a while with people who already matter to me. I need my kids and my friends and my dogs and my house and to feel my own life.

If my soulmate is out there looking for me, I’m sorry. Dating takes a lot of work and I’ll do it again soon but if you’re getting antsy you’re going to have to find me some other way.

Today, I’m hiking with my kid.

When my boys go back to school I’m sure I’ll do some banging around, I’ll get a little lonely and I’ll throw my hands up and go on a few more internet dates. I’ll try and orchestrate a little romance though I’m fairly convinced that online, it’s a needle in a haystack.

If Jesus wants to take the wheel, end this madness and just send me someone good, I’d gladly forego all the apps and dating sites – forever. I’d welcome a nice surprise ending and I’d love to write the story of how I just looked up one day and bam, whoop there it is. I’d love to not have to resuscitate this dating blog for the upteenth time. I’d love all that.

But I’m not gonna complain or whine about it when life is this good. I went on a lot of dating hikes and my legs are strong and like I said, nothing bad happened.

So I guess that’s pretty good.