So what’s going on in the dating world?
Well…..Ed circled back. I kinda knew he would. And he is really stunning.
I had a bad few days this week feeling all the things you feel when the universe implodes down deep in your soul. You mourn your babies growing up. You realize how transient it all is. You know that the longer you live the more your heart is going to suffer and burst.
I felt all of that early this week and then I woke up on Thursday and everything seemed to be coming up roses.
I had lived through three acts of the Marriage of Figaro the night before with a woman I’ve known since I was five years old. Now that’s something to talk about, especially since the way we have come back together has been fairly random and face bookey. She’s just fabulous, and we had fun.
On Thursday I realized something. I realized that I’m enough, and perfect, and I should just have fun and let ‘er rip when it comes to on-line dating. I realized that my life and friends and family – those things are my own. Dating…it’s just a little thing you do to keep yourself in the loop…but it really isn’t personal.
It’s not personal, until it is.
That was my big dating epiphany…nothing is very personal, until it is.
It helped me re-frame things with Ed. What do I want? I’d like someone to go out of town with. So eff it. The next time we messaged I worked in that I’d like to go to the hot springs soon. And guess what? It’s on the itinerary.
It’s perfectly okay to ask for what you want.
I’ve been on Tinder and it’s where I meet the most talkative and interesting men. I’ve taken to just blabbing about whatever’s going on and not really giving it too much thought.
Bumble I have to be more careful with because when you match you have to message within 24 hours or the match disappears. Ok so if you can believe this – I have to scale way back because I match with a LOT of people.
And you can only keep so many balls in the air.
The volume is staggering but most matches fall by the wayside after a few back and forths. And that’s fine.
So you gotta send out some good vibes and see who has some staying power.
After that, it’s best to talk on the phone.
I’ve skipped this step and it’s just been a waste of everyone’s time to meet someone you know is a hard NO.
So, my number is in the hands of a few decent men and may be they’ll call and maybe they won’t but what’s different about me is I don’t exactly care. I barely even know who I’ve given my number to because these men aren’t real yet.
I’m staying open, because ultimately if I could meet my best friend, I’d be down.
But I’ve gone on-line dating lite. And it feels right.
Swipe swipe…sure why not.
The right man will know how to reel me in and until then it’s just a matter of staying open and making sure I’m doing my thing with my family and my friends and with people who already matter.
My soul still yells loudly but I got this.